Back to Work: Navigating Your Return from Maternity Leave
Returning to work after maternity leave is a momentous transition. As a new mother, you may feel torn between your concern for your little one left in someone else’s care and your excitement about going back to work. Feeling distressed, however, does not have to imply that something is wrong. It may just show the magnitude of this adjustment. Guilt, apprehension, doubt, relief, and excitement are all part of this journey of change.
As with many women, you may expect to pick up right where you left off before going on maternity leave. It is common, however, to find readjusting to being back at work a disillusioning experience. It is important to recognise that you are returning to work as a changed person. You have grown beyond the person you used to be. Becoming a mother expands your physical, mental, and emotional capacities and changes your priorities. Give yourself the time and patience you need as you find your feet again.
As you settle back into work, you may feel guilty about enjoying it. You may relish recovering all the parts of yourself: the intellectual, the problem solver and the team player, which were all on hold while you were fully immersed in motherhood. Remember that you are the best mother for your child by being the best version of yourself. Your child may grow up inspired to work hard and pursue their goals by your example. You may also return home enriched by these experiences and excited to reconnect and spend quality time with your baby.
Reclaiming your interests outside of motherhood is vital to your well-being and fulfilment. It is also vital for your little one’s world to expand beyond their relationship with you as they develop their individuality. Research has shown that maternal satisfaction in the early years is a key predictor for positive child outcomes for many years to come.
Here are a few things to consider that may help you during this transition:
Several emotional and behavioural problems commonly affect children. The most prevalent childhood mental disorders include:
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Prepare yourself and your baby. Before returning to work, it can be helpful to experiment with taking short breaks away from your baby. Returning to see that your baby is well taken care of and comfortable with their other caregiver(s) may give you the reassurance you need. Always say goodbye to your baby before you leave, and make sure you spend quality time together when you reunite after time apart.
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Establish a trustworthy support system. Once you have ensured that your child is in good care, you will have the peace of mind you need to shift your focus to work. It is also important for you to seek support from people who can relate to your experience or who understand you and whose opinions you value, and to share your feelings with them.
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Trust your instincts. As important as it is to have caring and capable people to turn to for advice or guidance, you must trust your maternal instincts to serve you and your baby. Pay careful attention to yourself and your baby’s feelings to learn what you both need. Be mindful that these needs will continually change.
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Communicate your needs. As you consider your return to work, engage in a conversation with your employer about your options. You may find it helpful to start working from home a few days a week. It may also be helpful to have fewer demanding responsibilities initially and gradually increase your workload and hours over time.
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Prioritise quality time with your child. While the quantity of time spent with your baby may be reduced, the quality of the time spent together remains more impactful on your relationship with your baby and his or her well-being. Develop special family time rituals and routines. Engage and connect with your baby through play, during mealtime and when you are getting him or her ready for bed. Avoid checking your emails or phone or having the television on before your baby goes to bed. You are more likely to regret not having been present during the early years of your child’s life than not investing enough time or energy towards professional goals.
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Practise self-compassion. We often tend to extend more compassion to others than to ourselves. Practise being more compassionate towards yourself as you observe your feelings and needs during this transition. Self-understanding and self compassion are antidotes to self-criticism and mom guilt.
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Seek professional support. If you continuously feel anxious, depressed, self-critical or concerned about your connection with your baby, it can be immensely helpful to consult a professional person for support.
I wish you all the best as you navigate your return to work!